Phatalistic Phancies Phrom a ‘Phins Phan

18 01 2008

The Hopes of a ‘Phins PhanBeing a Dolphins fan has become rather interesting… and never more so than this last season. Being a fan of a team so sucktastic lent a certain objectivity to watching everyone else play.
Of course, there was the faint glimmer of optimism at the beginning of the season, but the ever-faithful ‘Phins quickly stomped on that, like a bug at a picnic, and lent me cruel, hard detachment.

So… the ‘Phins hired Tony Sparano, a talented assistant Head Coach from a successful program. But isn’t this exactly where Miami where a year ago?
Cam Cameron came across from San Diego, and was going to be the guy who led the Dolphins back from relative obscurity.
Little did fans know that ‘back from obscurity’ would equate to toying with having the perfectly dismal season. Yes, the ‘Phins were in the spotlight again, but for being perhaps the worst team in the history of the NFL, narrowly avoiding a season with no wins – only just eking out a victory against the Baltimore Ravens in overtime on December 16th last year.
Cam Cameron came to Miami with ideas, plans on how to turn the franchise around, hoping to return to the playoffs – where they haven’t been seen since 2001. The Dolphins chewed him up those plans piece-meal.
Tony Sparano comes to Miami with ideas, plans on how to turn the franchise around, hoping to return to… well, you get the idea.

Tony Sparano?Part of the problem that Sparano will face will be that he’ll have to break the expectation that they will lose… that they cannot compete. Well, perhaps that’s a little unfair on the ‘Phins… but the complete and utter failure of the last season will reside at the forefront of every players mind.

That get’s tough when you consider that the Miami Dolphins dwell in the same division as New England. It’s gotten so bad that you should almost pencil in two losses (one home, one at Foxboro) at the beginning of the season. There’s a definite correlation between the rise of the Patriots, and the struggle with relevance of the Buffalo Bills, New York Jets and Miami Dolphins.
It was never more true than this season, when the New England Patriots had their “Pursuit of Perfection”, the ‘Phins pursued pathetic.
I do so long for the days when the Pats were the Patsies, and the ‘Phins were phantastic…

The Dolphins need pretty much everything. If Ronnie Brown’s at full health, then RB’s covered. But Trent Green isn’t the answer, and if we’re going to play him then we need an O-line that doesn’t let him get hit so goddamn often. A receiver would be nice… or two. And please, don’t trade the best assets we have to division rivals who will beat you over the head with him at every opportunity. There really needs to be some thought at the top of the organisation.

So, can Tony Sparano turn it around? To be fair, it’s not really his job. Bill Parcells will be running the show, make no mistake.
Forget competing for a playoff berth, can Miami actually compete next season?
Will the fact that his name holds a very close approximation to a certain TV mobster hold any sway?

Questions, questions, and more questions.

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5 responses

18 01 2008

At least the Dolphins get a #1 draft pick out of their dismal season. I support the Bills who are currently stuck in NFL limbo – too good to get any decent draft picks but not good enough to get to the playoffs (not to mention owners who won’t spend in free agency). I don’t really see any end to their around .500 record any time soon. I agree about supporting teams in the same division as the Pats – 2 Ls go straight into the record columns at the beginning of each season. The thing that keeps me going is that all NFL team success is cyclical so if you stick with them long enough something good will happen (and the Pats will go back to sucking again at some stage – woohoo!)

In the meantime bring on a Chargers/Packers SuperBowl and in a fairytale ending let Brett Favre win MVP and another ring.

19 01 2008

I never liked the Cameron hire and I was never a fan of Randy Mueller either. This time around things should be different. the big Tuna will bring an entirely different mindset and has already revamped the front office with former Cowboys personel. On the field, the Fish will immediately be in better shape next season. I’m going to assume Ronnie Brown will recover from his injury and have a good season and hopefully be at full strengh by 2009 just in time for the playoff run. Their offensive line has drasticly improved and could add an Alan Faneca in free agency. This leaves galring needs at QB, WR and defensive front seven. If Parcells is unable to trade the 1st pick, he will pick either Glen Dorsey or Chris Long, two players either of which will provide much needed youth on the defensive line. Roy Williams is apparently being shopped by the Detroit Lions, why not make a go at getting the former Texas standout? Finally, the QB spot is the most perplexing, but I don’t expect to see Trent Green behind center…

19 01 2008

The thing with Cam was that he had a chance to gain respect and he never did, eventually resulting in the Porter/Traylor incidents. At least Sparano is part of a little click of like-minded brains, starting at the top with Parcells. I can invest in that. Hopefully, our guys find it prudent to go out and sign Faneca as soon as they can. Then we draft away, and pray that we don’t take any families with the first pick again.

Things will get better for us.

19 01 2008

This is a very well thought out article. I think we all have set the bar pretty low for Sparano, at least I have. If we win 6 games next season I’ll call it a drastic improvement. Frankly, as long we have the same coach for more then two full seasons I’ll be happy just to not have to watch the revolving door. Also, our running back corps is POTENT. Ricky, Ronnie, Booker, and we should give Chapman some well deserved credit. Sadly, I have the same feeling towards next season, the feeling of “HELL YEA 19-0 isn’t the offseason fun to speculate” which always turns into “Oh that’s right, we are cursed and every decision we make backfires”
Just watch, the Chargers will win the Superbowl just so our Chambers 2nd round draft pick…

19 01 2008

One thing that worries me is that they did NOT do what smarter teams like Tennessee and Minnesota did–just cut your losses on the cap for a year or two then rebuild that way. Miami keeps signing overpriced, veteran, past their prime guys like Porter and Green and doesn’t have the cash to keep the guys around they should keep, like Welker who everyone who watched a Fins game knew what a spark plug of a player. It’s going to be very hard for them to get better, especially if they keep signing vets like those guys. I’d rather them stay away from long term deals to guys like Faneca and focus on drafting and keeping their guys.

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