Chuck Norris says LA in 5

4 06 2008

Ok… this is my piece in response to Celtic fan Rob’s ‘Celtics in White Hats’

Just the other day, my *cough-cough* learned *cough-cough* basketball-fan-colleague Rob stated:

“The Eternal Battle of Good and Evil…
Otherwise known as the Celtics and Lakers go at it again! In case you hadn’t guessed, I’m dressing the Celtics in the white hero hats…”

If that’s the analogy you wish to pursue, fine. I guess that puts the Lakers in black.

Just a guess, but my Chuck Norris trumps your George McFly.
And then some.

Aaaaanyway, after that cold bucket of water on “white-vs-black-stereotypes”, let’s explore the points presented in the last bout of fantasy.

1. More options

Umm… huh? anytime you have to list Kendrick Perkins in your list of ‘more options’, you have officially abdicated the argument.

2. Home court advantage

Just ask the Spurs/Jazz how ‘home court’ worked out for them.

3. Offense vs Defense

Hmmm… 15 games to get to the Finals versus 20.
Go figure.
Boston struggled with LeBron James with a very inferior cast around him, now they have a better player (Kobe) with a damn good group around him.
” Look for the Celtics to harass Kobe and keep his points down…” – not what the Celtics did in the two times they played the Lakers. They stayed off him, and cut off his options to drive to the basket.
Which is what the Spurs did.
Gregg Popovich is now sitting back and wondering if that was the right option.

4. Rajon Rondo vs Derek Fisher

“I say he gets it done.” – no, you pray he gets it done. Look at what LA’s faced thus far, and Rondo’s the worst point guard they’ve faced. Simply a fact.

5. Destiny

Ummm… old adage: “There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.” Rumor is that the Boston Celtics have recently been crossed off.
And ‘destiny’?
Kobe Bryant. Simply too much Kobe for Boston to cope with.

Chuck does Kobe v Boston impersonation…

And the biggest difference between the two teams isn’t who’s on court, it’s who’s sitting at the head of the pine.
And that’s the big difference. Phil will have plans. Phil will have counters. Phil will be prepared. Phil will have the players prepared.
When Phil calls a time out, everyone will be quiet and the players will listen to Phil.
With Boston, Doc has prayers. When Doc calls a time-out he will look forlornly to KG. KG will scowl ‘n’ growl, and if we’re lucky, roar. Time-out over. Nice game plan.

Chuck Norris knows. He picks LA in 5.  I’m with Chuck.  You want to go against Chuck?




21 responses

4 06 2008
Apryl DeLancey

Bwah ha ha – good stuff! You tell ’em Chuck!

4 06 2008

Chuck makes some good points, but the last guy he supported was Mike Huckabee……

4 06 2008

Bottom line is – Chuck trumps George.
Just as LA will trump Boston.

4 06 2008

Don’t make me call in Biff Tannen!

4 06 2008

you never go against chuck.. never..

4 06 2008

If you do, there’s a chance you cease to exist.

4 06 2008

Chuck may be Chuck, but the Lakers are not Above the Law; they are Marked for Death because they are On Deadly Ground and the Celtics are Out for a Kill. The Foreigner will not offer enough support to the Glimmer Man when they enter the Belly of the Beast. Come Thursday night the Fakers will be Under Siege when they enter the Belly of the Beast. Come the end of the game they’ll be Half Past Dead, licking their Exit Wounds after getting Pistol Whipped and the Celtics will be Out of Reach.It will be a Black Dawn for LA as Boston walks Into the Sun with the championship rings.

Oh yeah, Seagal kicks Chucky’s ass!

4 06 2008

Wait… that’s your best?

Sheesh… I’d place good money on Chuck’s grandma to take out ol’ receding-with-pony-tail!

4 06 2008

I thought it was pretty good myself…..

and c’mon – Chucky’s about 103 years old and supported Huckabee; Seagal has people killed for breakfast

4 06 2008

This is actually a debate? With a coach with nine rings against one that eats paste with his hands, because he hasn’t quite figured out the spoon?

Find any Celtics Fan, and get them to wager. (Note: I’m not accepting bets, because rooting for an [alleged] rapist isn’t something I can stomach. Besides, I’m a Sixers fan. I’m rooting for plane crashes.)

5 06 2008

haha, I like this. Pretty random yet interesting stuff!

5 06 2008
Get Your Read On - I |

[…] Chuck Norris predicts the Lakers win it in five. I like the assumption, I’m going to have to agree! […]

5 06 2008

“Pretty random yet interesting stuff!”

I know that’s what I was going for!

5 06 2008

Yes, being absolutely random and inane comes naturally to Rob.
Me? I have to work at it.

5 06 2008

don’t run yourself down, you’re as random and inane as anyone I know….. perhaps as a result of all of those years of practice!

5 06 2008

I heard Chuck Norris once slammed a revolving door. Is this true? :]

5 06 2008

I’m with Chuck… but, with a twist. I’m seriously thinking a sweep. LA is nasty right now and I don’t think the Celtics are ready.

5 06 2008

@ brumbygg9
chuck norris owns steven seagal man
check this out,


5 06 2008


Wicked funny!

Love the way this post has been completely hijacked and turned around…. to think it all started with George McFly….

5 06 2008

and I say let’s make sure it gets enough comments to make it on to the Top 10 commented on posts for the Year 2 review!

6 06 2008
Right of reply « With Malice…

[…] Rob (brumbygg9) demanded a right of reply – to my points raised in the Chuck Norris bit, which was a response to his Celtics in White post… and I told him I’d give it to him. […]

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